View Full Version : Should parents be allowed to beat their child(children)?
Should parents be allowed to beat their child(children)?
I'm a firm believer that parents shouldn't be able to beat their child(children) unless they talk-back and just won't listen, but I know of two parents that just love to beat their children - even when they haven't done anything wrong...
Wrong? Yes? No?
What do you guys think? I also think that beating down your child, and if the child calls the laws, then he/she should be able to choose where they want to leave whether it's a boyfriend, or another family member? Right? Why not?
Ok, first off....the word "beat". Are you asking if I think children should be beaten with a fist? Hell *sorry for cuss* no.
Are you asking if I think children should be whipped? *like a switch* --Yes. Simply because if children have no discipline at all, then they will run rampant, and not respect you at all.
Beaten as in a belt? No. I had that done as a child, and have never did it to mine.
Beaten with a hand? like popping a young'uns butt with your open hand--Yes. Not so hard that it leaves a bruise duh.
Ok, well if you know someone who beats their children (as in with a belt that will leave welps/bruises then you should turn those parents into the child authority in your state. That is abuse. Plain and simple.
If they beat the children with anything that leaves welps/bruises, then you should turn them in.
About calling the law:
No. The child should NOT be allowed to choose who they live with unless it's a family member. i.e. aunt, uncle, older cousin, etc.
Reason being is that if a juvie chooses to go live with another juvie, then the child authority would not know if abuse was also happening in this home. So it's a tough question. I do not believe that if a child decides they want to live with their boyfriend/girlfriend this would be a good idea, especially for an over 12 year old. It's too much of a chance that the girl would become pregnant. I know before it's said not everyone has sex before marriage, but it will be a REAL possibility.
Patrick
07-18-2007, 12:04 AM
Beaten? No...
A parent should have the right to spank though. Sometimes a kid just needs to feel a little bit of pain to get the point. I know my father spanked me once, and I never again needed to be spanked because I learned my lesson.
Its a shame that parents have to be fearful of touching their own kids these days.
online.education
07-18-2007, 12:22 AM
I basically agree with Fly and Patrick here. I'm against "beating", but some physical punishment like spanking ought to be allowed. Most children don't understand what they're supposed to do logically, so some behaviors need to be taught in conjunction with some physical punishment.
Also along those lines, everyone has started doing this "time out" thing. That doesn't do anything at all.
And the old "go stand in a corner" is stupid. That's not hurting the kid. However, this can go too far. My brother would make his children stand for HOURS in the corner. I put a stop to that. To me that's abuse. But 15 minutes in the corner is not really a punishment to me.
Cpvr, you never did clarify the word "beat".....so if you could do that, it would be really helpful.
As for parents not being allowed to whip their children, 1 of my daughters is a mother of 2. She whips hers on a regular basis when they're bad. She tried the time out thing, cause she was against whippings. Her mind changed really quick when she found out time out's don't work.
Fiyero
07-18-2007, 11:16 AM
I am against hitting of any kind even spanking and the such. I believe that if you have to hit your child because he doesn't behave, you shouldn't be having a child.
ewwharhar
07-18-2007, 11:58 PM
I grew up with abuse like that from my parents. I moved to the USA when I was 7 and it kinda stopped. The laws in China on this is less strict than the US.
So yes.. I'm against it.
Cpvr, you never did clarify the word "beat".....so if you could do that, it would be really helpful.
Well, beat as in - leaving marks on their body, and such. Also, being beat with a belt, possibly with fists... I agree, that a child should be slapped - if they're not listening, or behaving, but being beat, no...
What if you can't turn them in to the state? What if the county that you live in "apparently" allows parents to beat their kids?
No. The child should NOT be allowed to choose who they live with unless it's a family member. i.e. aunt, uncle, older cousin, etc.
Reason being is that if a juvie chooses to go live with another juvie, then the child authority would not know if abuse was also happening in this home. So it's a tough question. I do not believe that if a child decides they want to live with their boyfriend/girlfriend this would be a good idea, especially for an over 12 year old. It's too much of a chance that the girl would become pregnant. I know before it's said not everyone has sex before marriage, but it will be a REAL possibility.
Well, what if the person is a great influence and makes them success in life? IE, pushing them to do better in school.
As far as I know there is no county in the USA that would allow such abuse. If you know of one, please tell me. I will lobby the governor, legislatures, and senators of the state/county and find out why this is allowed to happen. Abusive parents should always be locked up. Once they are allowed freedom, I think the state should NOT let them have the children back either.
Children that are abused OFTEN become abusive parents as well. It sucks, but it's true.
Still....if the person is a great influence, but still a juvie, then I still say no. As stated earlier, there is always the chance of an unwanted pregnancy.
I tried this myself actually. There was a boy Shannon met (my daughter) from Birmingham, AL. Well, this boy had/was abused by his step-father. Shannon appealed to my caring nature, and asked me to take this kid in. I had no trouble with this, as I had taken in a girl the year before, same situation.
So his mother dropped him off at my house. She stayed just a few minutes and let me know in fact that he really was being abused. (Slapped around, kicked, beaten with fists, etc.) The mother said she couldn't get rid of the man because she "loved him so much".
Everything went pretty well in the beginning. He was 17, went out and got a job. He had his own bedroom, etc. I fed him, clothed him (he didn't have anything with him when he came, we had to go shopping), took none of his pay, tried to nurture him, got him to study for his GED, etc.
First I started missing little things. My husband's coin collection began to dwindle. Then I noticed Shannon had taken a real liking to him. I began to get a lil worried at this point.
He stayed in our house for 3 months. I eventually lost 1000's of dollars in merchandise (for my business), and other things.
On my birthday I kicked his a$$ out of the house.
9 1/2 months later, Shannon gave birth to Alana.
He's now in a Birmingham prison. Reason is because he did go back home. He stole his mother blind. He robbed some very rich homes.
Trilobite
07-19-2007, 05:03 AM
I was never beaten as a child, but I was smacked (usually on the bum or thigh where it's well padded) whenever I was misbehaving or irritating my mum.
In my personal opinion, from remembering that, it did not help at all. I remember all it did was make me more annoying, except afterwards I was also in a foul mood at my mum. It also made me think at the time that it was ok to hit when someone was getting on my nerves, and so I did. So it set a bad example.
Physical violence towards children, in my opinion, isn't helpful. However I have no experience of I, nor anyone I know, being beaten badly as a child, so I can't make a proper opinion on it. All I can guess is that it would make the child feel confused, lonely (afraid of the parent/s), and perhaps violent themselves.
I find that any physical punishment should not be permitted.
A smack, a spanking, a whip, a beating, etc. none of these should be allowed.
By doing this you are not only promoting violence towards your child, as well as injuring or harming them. You are the parent, your job is to raise them, not force your way and harm to get it.
Simply placing a child in 'time-out' or by taking away their luxuries, would be much more appropriate.
Here's the question, why should parents be allowed to use physical punishment on their child? If the parent can't do this to any random Joe, why should they to their child? You are simply a parent, who is to guide them, raise them, and take care of them. NOT dictate them. Just because you have legal custody over someone doesn't mean you can hurt them, right?
As for talking back, and disrespect.. if your child disrespects you, and you beat them.. what difference should it be if you disrespect your child, should they beat you? Many parents overlook their authority situations, you have no more right to do things than your child, excluding legal aged actions.
Patrick
07-19-2007, 01:30 PM
Here's the question, why should parents be allowed to use physical punishment on their child? If the parent can't do this to any random Joe, why should they to their child?
Because its not your job to raise a "random joe". As a parent, its your job to make sure your kid is raised into a decent human being, and sometimes kids just need a good spanking. Its not like it actually harms the child. It jut allows them to associate a little bit of pain with being bad, that way they won't be bad again.
SaiKaorii
07-19-2007, 01:39 PM
Simply placing a child in 'time-out' or by taking away their luxuries, would be much more appropriate.
If you want them to scream and shout, wanting their items back, or thinking this isn't fair, then sure. What does this do? They'll get their items back at a later time, and not stay in 'time-out' forever :/ The more you do that the more ticked off they'll get, in my eyes. Not helping too much.
I'm for the spanking if a child misbehaves. It actually teaches them something. "If you do this again, the same thing will happen. Do you want that?" Of course the child is going to say no. They experienced pain. By not doing this the kid thinks nothing truly bad ever happens if I misbehave. I feel no pain like others, only my toys are taken away and a finger is shaken at me, but everything is given back.
Kinda like if I stick something wet in a plug, which is a big no-no, I won't get shocked and learn my lesson. Yes, you're gonna get shocked. And it'll probably hurt.
baltsportsfan
07-19-2007, 01:40 PM
It depends on if we're talking about Patricks 'little spanking' or actual physical abuse. There are parents who literally beat their kids up. I think it definitely depends on the situation.
Russell
07-19-2007, 02:59 PM
I don't think children she be beat for no reason at all. I think you're sick if you do that. But I think parents should be able to discipline their child with a wippen or something if the kid isnt behaving at all.
Fiyero
07-19-2007, 03:00 PM
As a parent, its your job to make sure your kid is raised into a decent human being, and sometimes kids just need a good spanking
But if you can't control them without hitting them in anyway(spanking etc. etc.) then you shouldn't be the parent.
But if you can't control them without hitting them in anyway(spanking etc. etc.) then you shouldn't be the parent.
I've never met a kid that could not use a good spanking. If they're not disciplined, then they're so bratty, unruly, obnoxious, nobody wants to be around them.
Time outs do not work. Taking away toys does not work. Standing in the corner does not work.
So what do you do with a young'un like that?
Patrick
07-19-2007, 03:17 PM
You spank them! Its a reasonable punishment.
Fiyero
07-19-2007, 03:20 PM
If you spank your child, they may think that violence is right. If you accidently spank your child too hard you may end up injuring the child.
Patrick
07-19-2007, 03:34 PM
I don't think anyone actually thinks of spanking as violence. I know I never thought of it that way when I was spanked.
If you spank your child, they may think that violence is right. If you accidently spank your child too hard you may end up injuring the child.
The thing about spanking is....if YOU are MAD, then you calm yourself down before doing any damage to the child.
If you can't calm down, then you send the young'un to their room. If they're older (close to 10 or so) you give them a good tongue lashing, calm down, tell them you are going to spank them, then do what you said you were going to do.
If they're young (5 or so) and you are angry, then you should not give a spanking at all. Most 5 year olds I've found, will quickly forget what they did to deserve the spanking in the first place. So you would be spanking for no reason. If they do something and it doesn't make you so angry you will hurt the child, then by all means spank away.
Parents have to learn to control their temper BEFORE laying a hand on the child. If not, then there is a POTENTIAL for abuse by going too far with the whipping.
Fiyero
07-19-2007, 03:40 PM
Punishing your child distracts them from learning how to resolve conflict in an effective way. Even relatively moderate spanking can be physically dangerous
Blows to the lower end of the spinal column send shock waves along the length of the spine, and may injure the child.
Patrick
07-19-2007, 03:41 PM
The thing about spanking is....if YOU are MAD, then you calm yourself down before doing any damage to the child.
If you can't calm down, then you send the young'un to their room. If they're older (close to 10 or so) you give them a good tongue lashing, calm down, tell them you are going to spank them, then do what you said you were going to do.
If they're young (5 or so) and you are angry, then you should not give a spanking at all. Most 5 year olds I've found, will quickly forget what they did to deserve the spanking in the first place. So you would be spanking for no reason. If they do something and it doesn't make you so angry you will hurt the child, then by all means spank away.
Parents have to learn to control their temper BEFORE laying a hand on the child. If not, then there is a POTENTIAL for abuse by going too far with the whipping.
Thats a very good point. You don't want to accidentally do something that you will regret forever.
I'd love to be around in 10 years or so on this board to see what these teens think once they actually HAVE a child that misbehaves. I think the tune will be quite different.
Fiyero
07-19-2007, 05:25 PM
I believe there was only me and somebody else saying that its wrong to spank your kids and I am not have children so yeah ^_^. I still and will believe that spanking your children is wrong.
delores
07-19-2007, 05:39 PM
i don't think you should beat a child i raised five and they can make you upset, i did spank my children on the butt but if i was raising them today i wouldn't do the spanking. i have a grandson that when his mother would spank him he would turning around and hug her.
As far as I know there is no county in the USA that would allow such abuse. If you know of one, please tell me. I will lobby the governor, legislatures, and senators of the state/county and find out why this is allowed to happen. Abusive parents should always be locked up. Once they are allowed freedom, I think the state should NOT let them have the children back either.
I've heard that the county, that I currently live in, which is Montgomery country - allows parents to beat their child, but can't leave brusies. I have no idea what to do because.... If you report them, then the kid gets taken away, and put into fostor care - how will you be able to see them?
Children that are abused OFTEN become abusive parents as well. It sucks, but it's true.
Not really, my mom was abused as a child, and she's a great mother today - not abusive at all.
Still....if the person is a great influence, but still a juvie, then I still say no. As stated earlier, there is always the chance of an unwanted pregnancy.
What's a juvie in your opinion?
He's now in a Birmingham prison. Reason is because he did go back home. He stole his mother blind. He robbed some very rich homes.
Ouch, that's gotta hurt a lot. Why do you think he did what he did?
peekypets
07-19-2007, 09:40 PM
Blah, hitting isn't right, in some cases maybe if the kid is a junkie and just very bad, maybe a good whippin can knock some sence, but even then no hitting no matter how much you want to.
I'll have to look up that county's laws. I find that unbelievable. (not calling you a liar, just that's hard to believe)
I said often are abusers. Not always. I myself was abused and have never did anything to my own children.
A juvie in my opinion is someone below the "age of consent". Every state has an age of consent, and this simply means what age a person is considered to be an adult. If they are below this age (varies state to state), then they are considered a juvenile.
Well, I really think when he stole from myself and Ralph (hubby) and I just simply made him leave our home, he thought he would be able to get away with it from other sources. I let it go because I felt sorry for him that he thought he had to do that.
I'm a free giving person. If you need something, and I have it, I'm usually more than willing to give it to you. Yes, when you're back on your feet, I would like it back. No it doesn't have to be all at once, in payments is fine. I told him this...but he felt obligated to steal what he wanted...so he had to get the f out.
no way. the laws messed up. How can it be illegal to hit a fully grown adult who can defend themselves but not illegal to hit a child who usually can't.
But its also messed up that if you overfed a pet you can go to prison for mistreating pets but if you overfeed your kid, like so many millions of parents do.. i mean its just wrong some of sizes of obese kids now.. you dont get anything for overfeeding your child, but if you overfeed your pet, its animal cruelty
some laws are just messed up
baltsportsfan
07-19-2007, 11:17 PM
Obese children are awful, to think they are the future of our world. The rate of obesity has increased drastically over the past 30 years, and is still increasing.
ewwharhar
07-19-2007, 11:22 PM
This is kinda related, but when I went to school in China when I was little, our teachers were allowed to hit us (more like whip you with a stick) when we misbehaved (or didn't do our homework or whatever).
And the same thing happens at home.
Really.. I'm glad it's illegal in the USA.
online.education
07-20-2007, 07:06 AM
This is kinda related, but when I went to school in China when I was little, our teachers were allowed to hit us (more like whip you with a stick) when we misbehaved (or didn't do our homework or whatever).
And the same thing happens at home.
Too many of those in authority including teachers tend to abuse their power, and that's terrible, but taking away everything from them is a bit extreme. For instance, if a student attacks a teacher with a knife, should he/she be able to defend himself or possibly hit him back? I think the answer is yes. What if the same student tries to punch him? The goal needs to be to prevent 'abuse' but not to take everything away from those in authority.
online.education
07-20-2007, 07:14 AM
I find that any physical punishment should not be permitted.
A smack, a spanking, a whip, a beating, etc. none of these should be allowed.
By doing this you are not only promoting violence towards your child, as well as injuring or harming them. You are the parent, your job is to raise them, not force your way and harm to get it.
Simply placing a child in 'time-out' or by taking away their luxuries, would be much more appropriate.
Here's the question, why should parents be allowed to use physical punishment on their child? If the parent can't do this to any random Joe, why should they to their child? You are simply a parent, who is to guide them, raise them, and take care of them. NOT dictate them. Just because you have legal custody over someone doesn't mean you can hurt them, right?
As for talking back, and disrespect.. if your child disrespects you, and you beat them.. what difference should it be if you disrespect your child, should they beat you? Many parents overlook their authority situations, you have no more right to do things than your child, excluding legal aged actions.
Once one reaches a certain age, he/she develops his conscious to understand what's good and what's bad, if not, he should be able to understand what he shouldn't be doing without any physical pain associated. But, a child cannot understand that; he hasn't reached that stage yet. This is when moderate physical punishments, i.e., physical punishments that do not result in injuries should be permitted. Otherwise, this child does not learn.
youlensparky
07-25-2007, 09:36 AM
[cleared by author]
Spanking, and beating. I classify them both as physical and equal punishments. Regardless, you are still assaulting the individual, just by a different degree. They should still be looked at in the same way, not a "Well, they only lightly slapped the child".
Digit
07-25-2007, 03:44 PM
Wow, parents definitely shouldn't be able to beat their kids. Not with a belt, not with a fist, and not with a hammer (:p).
I'm not even really a fan of spanking...anything violent isn't the way to go. A child can be taught a lesson without violence.
MuddSlinger
08-01-2007, 09:59 PM
may I ask how many of you actually have children who are posting in this thread?
There are very very rare occasions that I have spanked my daughter and those very few times have come after several hours of asking her to do something and giving her timeouts and other types of discipline without any results... Don't get me wrong spanking my daughter is the one thing I hate more then anything but theres just times where other forms of discipline, just don't work....
cpvr if you've witnessed parents actually abusing their child like you stated, you can be charged as an accessory to the crime by not reporting it, also how can you not report them? How would it feel if they were to kill them kids and you could have prevented it? They can't legally find out who reported them with out a court order and thats tough to get and not to mention you can report child abuse anonymously.
*Raises hand* I have children. Well, they aren't children anymore, they're young adults aged 23 and 25.
So I think I qualify to answer this question.
MuddSlinger
08-02-2007, 03:53 AM
*Raises hand* I have children. Well, they aren't children anymore, they're young adults aged 23 and 25.
So I think I qualify to answer this question.
was just asking and I agree your more then qualified to answer the question just as everyone else is and thats not what I ment was more looking to see if everyone here was looking at this from the parent point of view on this topic or not..
I really don't think they're looking at it from that point of view. A lot of them that is. When they themselves become parents, it would be interesting to be a fly on the wall.
kruzzen
08-04-2007, 03:11 PM
Should parents be allowed to beat their child(children)?
I'm a firm believer that parents shouldn't be able to beat their child(children) unless they talk-back and just won't listen, but I know of two parents that just love to beat their children - even when they haven't done anything wrong...
Wrong? Yes? No?
What do you guys think? I also think that beating down your child, and if the child calls the laws, then he/she should be able to choose where they want to leave whether it's a boyfriend, or another family member? Right? Why not?
Beat? NO. Spank with reason? Sure. School being able to spank? NO!
I think if a kid acts up and needs to be spanked (in private) then the parent should have that right. Spanking them in public promote violence IMO and needs to be stopped with use of citations and jail time.
I got it when I was a kid and I deserved it, LOL, boy did I deserve it. :p
Fiyero
08-04-2007, 03:14 PM
How does that make any sense?
If I had a child and spanked it in my house with nobody aroound its alright. but lets say I am in a mall or a store of some sorts and I spank the child, that makes it abuse?
kruzzen
08-04-2007, 03:17 PM
I never said that.
I just think it would be respect to a diversity issue. Some parents don't believe in it and will teach their kids that it is violence, which in all, it is. Think about it. Your inflicting physical pain to correct! Just like if I were to arrest someone and pepper spray them, its violence regardless.
:)
xAnonymousx
08-25-2007, 10:36 AM
No. :eek:
Miazaki
11-09-2007, 11:17 PM
Looking at these statistics in some books, they define abuse as excessive hitting or excessive verbal abuse, such as in no prompting, like their parents just come hit the child and leave.
I think that children need a bit of a bottem hit every now and then. I also think that it should be done right, my mother would tell me I was gonna get it, then she would go into her room and calm down, then she would spank me. Afterwards she would talk to me about what I had done that was wrong.
I used to babysit around the neighborhood, I live in a very...upward neighborhood (I only live here cause my grandpa owns the apartment) and these kids were spoiled and unruly. I'd take medication for my headaches before I went, they couldn't take no as answer ever and would just scream. I believe a nice hit on the bottem and a firm "No!" would've stopped that behavior.
Starchick1
01-07-2008, 03:09 PM
OKay....I know people that spank there children which isn't beating to me. I think if they are just repriminding them that its ok. But i would never ever allow beating. I think child abuse is wrong and beating to the ground is child abuse. And they[chicldren]have the right to tell if some one is abusing them in any way!!!
Viral
01-07-2008, 03:34 PM
When I have kids, if they disobey me, they will get spanked. My dad has told me over and over that young boys need that sort of discipline, and watching my aunt raise her kids (who she practically beats because they keep instigating it) I'd hate to have unruly children.
The only issue is what if you have kids like my aunt's? They get spanked and slapped all the time but they keep doing the wrong thing. It's like, she'll spank them and then they'll turn around and do it again in front of her (whatever it was they did bad). What do you do with kids like that? Time outs don't work on them, taking away toys doesn't work on them, and hitting doesn't work. What do you do?
I believe a parent has the right to spank you.
But, I don't believe a school teacher should spank you. I will not allow myself to be beaten shitless (like back in the day) by a stranger.
That's an excellent question Viral. You know there are some children that just do things for attention, even if that attention is a whipping. Sounds insane, but case in point is my grandson Jesse.
Shannon (his mother) has tried everything to tame him down. Spanking does not work. Taking away toys only seems to make him furious. Making him sit down in a time out of course does nothing.
The only thing that makes him stop is for her to tell him she's calling me. ~chuckle~ I know that sounds horrid, and I have never even spanked that young'un, but it works and he stops what he's doing immediately.
Shannon and the children stayed the night with Ralph and I one night. Well, he was throwing around my bottled water, pushing Catherine *the baby*, making a total ass out of himself. I asked him to stop. He said no. I looked over at Shannon, she looked at me and shrugged her shoulders.
I said I oughta slap the shi* out of YOU for letting him say that to me. She just stared at me. I reminded her when she was smaller she was NOT allowed to talk back. She said she couldn't stop it.
I went over, picked up the boy, brought him back to the couch and made him sit on my lap. I told him if he ever said that word NO to me again, I'd bust his ass so damn bad, he'd wish he was in prison with his daddy. Harsh? Yes. Necessary? In my humble opinion yes.
He tried several times to wiggle out of my lap, but I looped his legs under one of mine, so I was sitting cross-legged man style, and continued to hold him there. Restrained if you will. I told him he'd better be glad he was not my young'un cause I woulda tore his a$$ up.
All this time, Shannon is sitting there not saying a word. I thought dam* you, you're the mama, it's your fault he's like this.
After he calmed down somewhat, I said firmly I wasn't going to let that happen anymore, him telling me no. I wasn't going to take him throwing around my bottled water, pushing his sister or any kind of that nonsense.
He was good for the rest of the night.
Before going to bed, he told Shannon I was a mean "mamaw". Shannon agreed with a smile on her face.
Next day, everything is forgotten, he begins again misbehaving. I picked him up and held him at my eye level, and told him if he didn't stop, I was gonna give it to him good. "Your mama is easy on ya," says I. "I'm gonna whoop you like there's no tomorrow."
All nonsense stopped again.
Now when misbehaving, Shannon says, "Imma go call your mamaw". All is well.
Do you think its because his mom is too nice to her son, Lori - or is something else going on? Such as - you putting the foot down to him, and telling him who's boss - where his mom is failing to do so?
Im sorry if this has already been said, but i cant be stuffed reading those 6 pages. XD
I think no, beaten, or really harming the child at all. Its not necessary. Those nanny shows like supernanny and nanny 911 can calm children down that scream, bite, smack adults, by just giving them time out, and treating them like an adult.
If you hit an adult you would get charged with assault. It wasnt like that with children though, now that it is i think its fair. o.O Sometimes i know you can get frustrated with little kids, and i guess a little smack cant really hurt that much, but some people dont know their own strength. So if harming your children is illegal, i think that fair. :S
Kyrislian
01-08-2008, 04:56 AM
Beating your child? Beat is a very strong word ;) Since it basically includes excessive violence, I'd give that a total no.
I do believe however, that mild (very very mild) things like spanking is alright. To the poster who says that children under the age of 5 don't really associate the spanking with their behavior, I'd say no.
I have a cousin who is around the age of 1 1/2 years. His mom is very firm with him, and when he misbehaves she tells him in a very firm voice to stop. If he doesn't, she warns him that she'll pinch him. If he still doesn't stop, then she carries out her word. It's worked, and there's very few times when he'll ignore her when she threatens to pinch him.
Miazaki
01-09-2008, 12:52 PM
My smallet brother proved that sometimes a spanking is the only way to get a message across.
Yesterday he was doing something that he had no bussiness doing (The act itself was dangerous to him and others.) We have told him countless times to not do it. My mother taking a page from those Supernannies has talked to him, placed him in time out and has even gone so far as to explain to him why it shouldn't be done.
COUNTLESS TIMES
He decided last night that he was going to do it again today, my father very calmly, there was no anger nothing in his voice asked "Did you know that this was against the rules?" "Should you be doing this?" "You do realize that you have broken the rules haven't you?" He answered yes to all of these. My father took my brother over his knee and with his hand spanked him.
My brother now knows that if he does this again he will get hurt, and that it will no longer be tolerated.
Now please, tell me, those that think you should not "Spank/hit" a child. What would you have done with the child?
Starchick1
01-09-2008, 05:55 PM
I believe a parent has the right to spank you.
But, I don't believe a school teacher should spank you. I will not allow myself to be beaten shitless (like back in the day) by a stranger.
okay, boys may need more disipline than girls but that dosen't mean thay should get spanked! There are other methods of disipline...SERIOUSLY!!!
Bizcuit
01-29-2008, 04:31 PM
Spanking children gives you the same result as people who hit their dogs when they misbehave. They become fearful of you. They may stop doing the bad behaviours, but they will become distant from you in fear of being hurt.
It could also teach them that hitting is okay, because their parents, who they probably look up to the most, do it. So why not?
Spanking is abuse imo. Children should not have to receive pain in order to learn.
compaq_xp
01-29-2008, 04:44 PM
Spanking is fine, in my eyes. If I ever have a Kid they'll be spanked when they do wrong.
I believe that Spanking Bob is more effective then saying "Don't do it again Bob"
(Note: Bob is a random name)
I believe a parent has the right to spank you.
But, I don't believe a school teacher should spank you. I will not allow myself to be beaten shitless (like back in the day) by a stranger.
Wheres there such a right that says somebody can use corporal punishment on another? ;)
jackohara
02-06-2008, 03:54 PM
i think parents should be able to spank their children on their rear or give them a slap on the head. i don't think you should use physical punishment on anyone over six tho. they're old enough to understand words and consequences, but younger kids often need a little smack to know "good" from "bad". outright beatings, even if they don't draw blood shouldn't be allowed imo.
DarkOcean
02-06-2008, 04:22 PM
I think they should be able to. Only if its for a good reason though. Not just constantly because they feel like it. Thats abuse.
Any kid needs to have their jaws slapped or get the belt. No matter what age honestly. I mean, if they are moved out than its a big weird. You probably understand what I mean. :3
I think they should be able to. Only if its for a good reason though. Not just constantly because they feel like it. Thats abuse.
Any kid needs to have their jaws slapped or get the belt. No matter what age honestly. I mean, if they are moved out than its a big weird. You probably understand what I mean. :3
What would possibly be a good reason to use corporal punishment of your child, unless they are endangering your own physical safety? If your child is lipping off to you and being disrespectful, then another approach needs to be taken.
Any kind of corporal punishment is really assault.
I feel an adult who spanks a child should be charged equally if not further (children are less able to defend their safety. assaulting and elderly citizen is a felony..so why shouldn't assaulting a child be a felony?) than an adult who assaults another adult.
KingKatchoo
02-20-2008, 09:08 AM
I am against hitting of any kind even spanking and the such. I believe that if you have to hit your child because he doesn't behave, you shouldn't be having a child.
Where's the logic there? I have a child that is unruly so I shouldn't have had a child? Next go around I'll have them do a genetic screen for unruliness and abort if I can't handle it ::hammer
Seriously, I was raised where you'd get a spanking (with a belt) or popped in the mouth for being fresh -- now I go in public and see kids running wild with their parents saying crap like "Timmy that's not nice" as if that will work.
I was eating at Applebees the other night and this woman was letting her kid run wild int he restaurant because she'd throw a tantrum of kept in her seat. So she's running up to tables, reaching in Waitresses pockets etc. To me that comes from not having enough discipline and IMO standing a child in the corner will NOT instill discipline in all kids (maybe some, but those tough ones need a stern hand)
Where's the logic there? I have a child that is unruly so I shouldn't have had a child? Next go around I'll have them do a genetic screen for unruliness and abort if I can't handle it ::hammer
Seriously, I was raised where you'd get a spanking (with a belt) or popped in the mouth for being fresh -- now I go in public and see kids running wild with their parents saying crap like "Timmy that's not nice" as if that will work.
I was eating at Applebees the other night and this woman was letting her kid run wild int he restaurant because she'd throw a tantrum of kept in her seat. So she's running up to tables, reaching in Waitresses pockets etc. To me that comes from not having enough discipline and IMO standing a child in the corner will NOT instill discipline in all kids (maybe some, but those tough ones need a stern hand)
It doesn't really make a difference if it works or not.. You can't just go around using corporal punishment to enforce things. I'm sure you don't pop your friends when they don't do what you please.
Chero
03-06-2008, 06:01 PM
I disagree with beating/spanking your child. Physical abuse often causes the kid to be more fearful of the actual abuser/spanker than the activity they weren't supposed to do. A relationship built on fear is hardly ever a good thing >.>;
You should reason with your children, so they understand why something is wrong, not just slap them so they don't do something out of fear. Any parent who needs to resort to violence of any kind--be it hitting, whipping, paddling, slapping, spanking--is unfit to be a parent.
You should reason with your children, so they understand why something is wrong, not just slap them so they don't do something out of fear. Any parent who needs to resort to violence of any kind--be it hitting, whipping, paddling, slapping, spanking--is unfit to be a parent.
Couldn't have said it better myself. One who is unable to deal with their issues in another way rather than physical interceptions, clearly is unfit to be in guirdianship of any juvenile or adolescent.
KingKatchoo
03-06-2008, 09:20 PM
It doesn't really make a difference if it works or not.. You can't just go around using corporal punishment to enforce things. I'm sure you don't pop your friends when they don't do what you please.
Next time a little kid is running through the restaurant and interrupting things, I'll polite ask them to stop and explain to them that a bunch of teens/young adults on a message board told me it should work.
Next time a little kid is running through the restaurant and interrupting things, I'll polite ask them to stop and explain to them that a bunch of teens/young adults on a message board told me it should work.
Just because using corporal punishment may stop their behavior, doesn't make it right. In your case, people are just going to have to find a new way to deal with things like this. In that situation, I would approach the manager and ask them to remove the disruptive guest. Sounds fair enough, eh? Of all things, why would you approach a child who isn't even under your custody, and punish them CORPORALLY, when they are in no way under your jurisdiction? But hey..you do have every right to ask the child to stop behaving erratically, eh?
or if not the manager then you could say something to the parents
but you have no right to discipline someone else's children and more than you have to paint someone else's house.
You may think you are doing them a favor but it's not your place
or if not the manager then you could say something to the parents
but you have no right to discipline someone else's children and more than you have to paint someone else's house.
You may think you are doing them a favor but it's not your place
That actually happened a few blocks from me a few years ago.
Someone painted their house bright pink for some odd reason, and all their
neighbors were really mad. When the home owners went on vacation, the
neighbors all went and repainted it white. When the homeowners came home,
they filed criminal charges, and the neighbors who came forward, were arrested
on trespassing and vandalism..and had to pay for the damages. But yeah, just thought
I'd share that story for the sake of the irony in your post.
They atleast agreed to keep it white. lol
KingKatchoo
03-07-2008, 10:53 AM
Just because using corporal punishment may stop their behavior, doesn't make it right. In your case, people are just going to have to find a new way to deal with things like this. In that situation, I would approach the manager and ask them to remove the disruptive guest. Sounds fair enough, eh? Of all things, why would you approach a child who isn't even under your custody, and punish them CORPORALLY, when they are in no way under your jurisdiction? But hey..you do have every right to ask the child to stop behaving erratically, eh?
or if not the manager then you could say something to the parents
but you have no right to discipline someone else's children and more than you have to paint someone else's house.
You may think you are doing them a favor but it's not your place
Where was ANYTHING said about hitting someone else's child? If the child isn't listening to what a parent is saying and being disruptive, I believe they do deserve a pop to wake them the heck up.
Obviously just telling them to stop is not going to work, and as I said, next time it DOESNT work, I'll explain to them that you guys all said that it SHOULD work. That'll fix it.
Where was ANYTHING said about hitting someone else's child? If the child isn't listening to what a parent is saying and being disruptive, I believe they do deserve a pop to wake them the heck up.
Obviously just telling them to stop is not going to work, and as I said, next time it DOESNT work, I'll explain to them that you guys all said that it SHOULD work. That'll fix it.
Next time a little kid is running through the restaurant and interrupting things, I'll polite ask them to stop and explain to them that a bunch of teens/young adults on a message board told me it should work.
If this post was to be for their own cild, wouldn't they have said "my" instead of "a" little kid. By saying "a" the post pretty much makes any take of guardianship into play, by making the false or intended impression that they feel if a child is yours or not, you should be able to go and use corporal punishment on them. (In no way am I endorsing corporal punishment, whether or not the adult is in that child's jurisdiction.)
This argument isn't really about what the child deserves. Quite frankly, you may be a victim of a crime, and the criminal may not get a sentencing that is long enough for what you feel they deserve. The point is whether it should be legal for a guardian use corporal punishment on their child or adolescent.
Consider this;
If it is legal for a parent to use corporal punishment on their child.. it would only be right for it to work both ways, eh? In other words, parents would be getting beat by their child for 'misbehaving' to their child. The issue would become worse, because the product of this all would simply be chaos.
KingKatchoo
03-07-2008, 02:03 PM
This is a useless argument. Raise your hand if you have kids here. Those that do, please share your practices and how their child reacts.
A bunch of kids can sit here and speculate all they want, but it's like girls deciding if men should like boxers or briefs.
This is a useless argument. Raise your hand if you have kids here. Those that do, please share your practices and how their child reacts.
A bunch of kids can sit here and speculate all they want, but it's like girls deciding if men should like boxers or briefs.
It's absurd to assume everyone or most people here are kids. Also, if you read the debate guide on this forum, you will also see logical fallacies;
Appeal to Tradition is a fallacy that occurs when it is assumed that something is better or correct simply because it is older, traditional, or "always has been done." This sort of "reasoning" has the following form:
1. X is old or traditional
2. Therefore X is correct or better.
This sort of "reasoning" is fallacious because the age of something does not automatically make it correct or better than something newer. This is made quite obvious by the following example: The theory that witches and demons cause disease is far older than the theory that microrganisms cause diseases. Therefore, the theory about witches and demons must be true.
The age of the delegates in this debate have no effect on whether their view is right or wrong.
You really think this is a pointless argument? You know it's not just the guardian's opinion that matters in this world. Children need the right to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness like everyone else, but they also need the right to be free of physical harm.
I think you've missed some of our points here. I realize yours, being that in most situations it is VERY difficult to get a child to listen to simple words, and corporal punishment or threats of corporal punishment usually seem to work with ease. That is understandable. Now, my point is regarding the fact that no matter how wild your child may get, you really just don't have by any means the right to react corporally to anyone. Anyone including your children.
KingKatchoo
03-07-2008, 04:49 PM
You really think this is a pointless argument? You know it's not just the guardian's opinion that matters in this world. Children need the right to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness like everyone else, but they also need the right to be free of physical harm.
No, what I think is, you can have an opinion on anything in the world, but until you have actually experienced the situation you are commenting on, it's hard to give said opinion much weight.
In the case of the matter at hand, we'll simply have to agree to disagree.
Richy
03-07-2008, 04:54 PM
No, they shouldn't be able to do it. It's wrong and inhumane.
My parents use to beat me and my brothers, but they haven't done it for a long time. Maybe it's because we've learned not to do anything wrong, but in saying that, I have scars from when my dad use to hit me.
These days I just threaten them and say I'll ring the police if they say they're going to hit me, or I just walk away. However, I still think that parents should not be able to hit their children.
No, what I think is, you can have an opinion on anything in the world, but until you have actually experienced the situation you are commenting on, it's hard to give said opinion much weight.
In the case of the matter at hand, we'll simply have to agree to disagree.
I see where your coming from.
Keep in mind a lot of the 'kids' on here have also experienced this, only from the other end of the perspective. I just think it's important to consider their feelings as well.
KingKatchoo
03-07-2008, 07:29 PM
No, they shouldn't be able to do it. It's wrong and inhumane.
My parents use to beat me and my brothers, but they haven't done it for a long time. Maybe it's because we've learned not to do anything wrong, but in saying that, I have scars from when my dad use to hit me.
These days I just threaten them and say I'll ring the police if they say they're going to hit me, or I just walk away. However, I still think that parents should not be able to hit their children.
See, that sounds like ABUSE and not just a smack in the mouth for talking back or something. In that case, no, that should NOT take place and it should be reported.
I think there's a difference in using some physical force to discipline and outright beating/abusing a child.
Any form of hurting a child is wrong. Shaking a baby can kill it, and that doesnt sound so harmful does it? Hitting your child for doing something could really harm him/her.
LazyKat
03-07-2008, 11:37 PM
I got spankings all the time when I was little, and so did my brother, and was actually smacked once, and I'm not emotionally scarred. Or dead. Not dead either. It hurt a whole bunch, certainly, but that was the point.
My little brother has hardly ever gotten spanked, not sure why. I guess my older brother and I were just awful kids XD.
Point is, it is effective incentive to refrain from an action, or incentive to be more careful about not getting caught, but usually that was too much effort so we just refrained.
Anyhow, my parents still loved me, and I still love them, and while pointless raging and brutality against a child certainly isn't something I could condone, physical punishment for a very bad action doesn't make the parents child-beaters. I don't remember exactly what I was spanked for, but the one time I was smacked it was for yelling at my mum. Never did that again, that's for sure...
I got spankings all the time, too, not to mention that I've been cuffed over the head, hit with a clothes hanger and ruler, and all that other good stuff. Like Kat, I'm quite alive, quite happy, and I still love my parents quite a bit. In fact, I wish I could commute. I dislike staying at college and I wish I could be with my family more. I miss them.
To me, I think it depends on the child. If time-outs work, then sure -- go for it. Beatings, to the point where they would leave bruises or welts... I'd label that as child abuse. But there are kids out there who could really just use a good spanking.
I wouldn't say beat, but I have been spanked with a belt on my ass a couple of times. Usually, it was one or two slaps with it. And they weren't HARD or SOFT taps either. Enough to learn my lesson.
GodsGal
03-13-2008, 08:08 PM
I was spanked when I was younger, and I'm very close to my mom. (she did most of the spanking, lol) If she hadn't, I'd probably be an awfully bratty teen right now.
There's a difference between a swat and a beating. o: And it doesn't make the child afraid of the parent, it makes them afraid of the swat.
But yeah, like Jaye said- if a time out works, go for it.
LazyKat
03-13-2008, 08:28 PM
Beatings, to the point where they would leave bruises or welts... I'd label that as child abuse. But there are kids out there who could really just use a good spanking.
What if kids just bruise easily? ;)
Nah, just kidding XD
KingKatchoo
03-31-2008, 08:19 AM
What about tasering a child?
Officials: Deputy Shocks Girl, 11, With Taser At Elementary School - Orlando News Story - WKMG Orlando (http://www.local6.com/news/15721677/detail.html)
Cop tasers 11 year old girl... don't get upset just yet though, IMO she deserved it, and THIS is situation where a "time out" just won't do.
Summer
04-19-2008, 12:17 PM
I do not have any children of my own, however I do have experience on both sides (to a certain extent).
I was raised in a very violent and abusive household, so I understand my opinions will be biased. I do not believe physical punishment is the answer. Growing up, it was the times that our parents used their words, that we actually listened. It was not until we were much older that we were able to associate the beatings with the thing we had done wrong. I know it made us think that violence was okay and acceptable, as my siblings and I would shamelessly beat the hell out of eachother in any situation that we didn't agree with. I really believe that if we'd been made to sit down and listen to our parents calmly explain what we had done wrong, we would have found it a lot easier to understand why we were in trouble, and why we shouldn't do it again.
On the other end of the spectrum, years later when I'd left home and found my own place, I took my much younger brother in (to offer him a more stable environment). I was a little apprehensive at first, as he was as unruly as ever; violent, disruptive, and found it nearly impossible to control his feelings. I never once lay a hand on him, however I did make it very clear that this behaviour wasn't going to fly with me. Yes, the time was frustrating, and on occasion I would get hurt. Soon after, he completely calmed down. He was more focused on his studies, polite, courteous, and even did his chores without argument. He understood the connection, that if he refused to go to school, I couldn't work and the bills wouldn't get paid, therefore the end result would be no electricity (and more importantly to him, no video games). This is an example of where words work better than beatings.
I am obviously biased in my opinion, and do not have the experience of most of the parents here. But hey, what's a debate without some disagreement?
What about tasering a child?
Officials: Deputy Shocks Girl, 11, With Taser At Elementary School - Orlando News Story - WKMG Orlando (http://www.local6.com/news/15721677/detail.html)
Cop tasers 11 year old girl... don't get upset just yet though, IMO she deserved it, and THIS is situation where a "time out" just won't do.
In my opinion, this is still very wrong. Arrest her, that's fine. Handcuffs? Absolutely. Have her assessed by a mental health professional? Great idea. There is quite obviously an underlying cause to this "lashing out", and somehow I don't think tasering the child is going to help find it.
Shadow
04-19-2008, 01:47 PM
I still sometimes get beaten (not spanked), but I think my parents feel really guilty after they do that because they buy my ice-cream XD
dragonheart
04-23-2008, 01:19 AM
I think it's wrong to beat a child. A good spank on the rump I don't conseder beating. But this is How I feel.
There are people I'd rather get spanked by than my parents, that's for sure ;)
Just kidding!!
There are people I'd rather get spanked by than my parents, that's for sure ;)
Just kidding!!
woww. lmfao.
vBulletin® v3.7.2, Copyright ©2000-2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.